Skip to content Skip to navigation

Attributes of empathetic/principled accompaniment

List co-created with CSCO 2020 participants

  • Listening
  • Long haul work
  • Empathy
  • Patience
  • Silence
  • Makes you feel heard/seen and allows you to feel your feelings
  • Capacity to understand the experience of the other person when they are needy
  • Respect
  • Imaging yourself in their shores
  • Acceptance
  • Caring, love
  • Physical presence
  • Saying when you have made a mistake
  • Being non-judgmental
  • Responding to a need
  • Ask questions if timing is appropriate
  • Trust takes time to build, but can be quickly lost
  • Validating feelings and emotions
  • Willingness to do the work and to listen
  • Continued connection
  • Meeting the person where they are, not where your hang ups are
  • Active listening
  • Giving the person space; knowing when to leave
  • Putting your curiosity and voyeurism aside
  • Relationship is really important for this to work
  • Although being curious about another’s experience can be powerful, set yourself aside and learn.
  • No savior complex
  • Humor if appropriate and sharing own experience
  • Generosity and humility
  • If I am overwhelmed by emotion, get support elsewhere so I can be present to their needs
  • Go the second mile
  • Treat others as they want to be treated
  • Be creative and inventive: go buy the pump
  • Don’t make it worse with your own anger
  • Address pain and danger asap
  • Sometimes two are better than one
  • If you are stonewalled by authority, get backup and go over their head
  • Embrace discomfort
  • Ask what people need instead of deciding what we think they need
  • Regulate your emotions in order to show up for others who are more likely to be harmed for expressing anger
  • Use additional resource, don’t get stuck thinking you can do it by yourself
  • Understand the power dynamics, don’t take away the power affected people have
  • Know your limits, don’t overpromise
  • Under promise, over deliver
  • Check your guilt
  • Trust that the affected people know what kind of support they need/have solutions in mind. Don’t dictate solutions.
  • Awareness of our own triggers