Shoji Sawada
My Experience of
the Atomic Bombing
Shoji Sawada
When the atomic bomb was dropped I was 13 years old. I was sick on that day,
then at the moment of the bombing I was sleeping at home, about 1,400m from ground
zero. Therefore I did not see the flash of the heat ray nor feel the shock wave
of the blast. Everything happened instantaneously.
When I came to my senses, I found that I was trapped under my crushed house.
I struggled and wiggled, and at last I was able to crawl out of the piles of broken
wood and plaster. When I stood upon my crushed house, the world I found was like
night—the morning sunshine blocked by dark brown air that changed to yellow
and then white, and finally became clear. At that moment, I was shocked to find
that all the city of Hiroshima was flattened as far as I could see. I could not
grasp what had happened.
Immediately, I heard my mother call my name. Her voice seemed to come from far
away, though I knew there was not much distance between her and me, that her voice
came from just under my feet. So I inferred that the broken roof and piles of
crushed plaster prevented her voice from reaching me directly.
My mother said that she was unable to move, that her legs were caught between
big beams or pillars. I tried with all my might to pull away these beams or pillars.
But it was far beyond my ability. I called out in vain to adults for help, but
those wounded could do nothing more than find a safe place for themselves. During
rescue work of my mother I asked her “Is this a big earthquake?” She
said, “No, a huge bomb exploded very close to our house.”
I did not notice the fires at first, but it was spreading gradually. At the
instant of the atomic bomb explosion, everything to burn caught fires but was
smoldering for a while. When I told my mother of the approaching fires, she told
me, “ You should survive, you should become a good person by studying well.” Though
she could not see the fire, which was growing stronger, she said, “That’s
enough, never mind your mother. Get away from here!” I hesitated in leaving
my mother. But when a large fire storm arose, my mother said, “Get away
right now.” It seemed faint, but it was strong, and so I could decide to
leave without her. As I escaped, I said,
“Forgive me, mother!”
That was the last conversation I had with my mother.
There was no road, and amid the flames and smoke I could see only piles of houses,
and badly burned people escaping. Their burned skins were hanging down from their
chins or nails which were not burned. At last I could reach the riverside, and
swam across the river, and sat on the dry riverbed watching the burning town from
the other side. The smoke and flames became a cloud over my head. When I thought
of my mother beneath the flames, my heart was broken, and I thought, “Was
there not something I could have done to save her?” Even now, the same feeling
comes over me whenever I think of my mother.
In my conception, I have double responsibility for all human being to abolish
nuclear weapons and this will be response to my mother’s last words. One
is as a survivor who had experienced the disaster of that day. Now about 280,000
survivors of atomic bombing in Japan, Korea and in other countries are still struggling
against physical, living and mental difficulties which grow harder with age. In
the world, including USA, the former Soviet Union, and other nuclear weapon states,
more than several millions victims of radiation caused from the whole processes
from uranium mining to weapon production, such as down wind habitants of nuclear
test. For survivors of the atomic bombing, it is obvious that using nuclear weapons
is the most inexcusable crime in human history. It should never be used against
anyone, for any purpose and any reason, and upon anywhere.
The other my responsibility is as a scientist or as a physicist. A hydrogen
bomb test done at Bikini atoll in 1954, gave me a great shock, because at that
time I was a undergraduate student learning physics. I thought that nuclear physics
was badly used eventually to construct weapon which could destroy the whole human
society as well as lives on the earth. Then I began to act to abolish nuclear
weapons as a student of physics and later as a physicist. Now I am studying the
after effects of Atomic bombing to the human body in relation with a collective
lawsuit and found that the studies concerning to the effects of atomic radiation
supported by the U.S.A. government completely ignores the effects of the residual
radiation which were caused by the fallout and induced radioactive matters. These
residual exposure came from internal exposure and it is found that these effects
cause the major obstacles among survivors at present. This ignorance of the residual
radiation effects is closely related to the U.S. government research and development
of new ‘usable nuclear weapon’ such as ‘earth penetrating nuclear
weapon’ whose use will emerge ‘another hell in this world’ than
Hiroshima and Nagasaki due to a huge amount of radiation.
I appeal that it is the time to abolish nuclear weapon for the future human being.
Shoji Sawada: a theoretical particle physicist and an emeritus professor of Nagoya
University, and a representative director of Japan Council against A&H Bombs
(Gensuikyo). Home: 502 Rokugo-Mansion Kurosawadai , 4-1206 Kurosawadai , Midori-ku
Nagoya, 458-0003 Japan. Tel. 052-876-0226, e-mail sawadas@fb3.so-net.ne.jp
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